Arrr!

I really wish Adagio would get in a new supply of Assam Melody so we could order our tea! Arrrrr.

That is all.

And the answer is...

Adagio is currently out of Assam Melody, which why we can order our tea yet. As soon as they get a new shipment, we're good to go.

And I'm a little too excited about the label. And hell no, I'm not making a video on my own. Although I could try to put an eyepatch on the cat and make that the video. There will be blood.

I have created our tea!

Alas, I am unable to order it immediately. (I e-mailed them to see why - I suspect there is some kind of turnaround time on new blends? Who knows.) That being said, they offer us the opportunity to create a video to promote our tea. This could be genius and/or craptacular, therefore I think we should totally do it.

Oh, and the label needs to be 700 x 300 pixels. I'll try to crank a couple of the photos below into that size, but of course it would be MUCH cooler if you wanted to draw something of your own!

The much delayed conclusion...

Yes, yes, this has been looking as though it's B's tea blog for a while. A sucks. There have been far, far too many words in her life recently. Thanks, work.

That being said, I still wanna create our tea! I vote for this:

Assam Melody: 50%
Rum: 30%
Spice: 20%

I find it only appropriate that we then give this tea a pirate name, because pirates make everything better.

Vote for:

A) Yo ho hos!
B) Arrrrr!
C) Hey there, sailor!
D) Johnny Depp!


Please advise. And figure out a picture that we can upload to the label.


Arrrr,
A

Liquor? I don't even know her!

Yes, that's crass. But whatever.

So for the continuing tea selection adventure, Adagio offers two alcohol-flavored teas: rum and pina colada. The notion of a pina colada tea makes me break out in a cold sweat, so I'm thinking rum.

And maybe the base tea should be something simple, like Assam?

That leaves the third element of the mix - caramel? vanilla? What else would go with rum?

There comes a point in everyone's life...

...when one woman turns to another and says: "Bitch, we must develop our own signature tea."

B? Bitch? We must develop our own signature tea.

This comes out of my recent order from Adagio Teas, where I went to get a sampler of white tea because, well, I've never had white tea that didn't taste like warm diluted Crystal Light. More in this in another post, because when I ordered my tea, they made me the proverbial offer we can't refuse: to design our own tea blend.

So here goes: Select three teas from their list, then select the percentage of each tea in the blend, name it and upload a photo. You can then order it and cry when you have 4 oz. of undrinkable tea.

But, because I am not one to lack in self-esteem, I think our tea will be genius. We can do eet!

First, let's talk which three teas. Obviously decaf is out, because, I mean, gawd, whatever!? They then have other categories - black; green; oolong; flavored; Crystal Light - I mean, white; herbal and rooibos.

From there, they have a billion subcategories, but first things first, right? I vote for a blend of black, green and flavored. Why? Because I just read in a book that Jane Austen mixed black and green and I'm unhealthily obsessed with catty dead writers. And you?

Rworr.

ICanHasCheezburger.com

Alas, due to cat drama (she's fine, minus one right canine tooth and did you know the root to said tooth extends up to the cat's sinus?) and a sudden medication schedule for the beastie, Yoga Boot Camp was foreshortened.

However, I do feel obligated to report on the tea that was served last Saturday and Sunday: Yogi Tea's Redbush Chai, which was neither redbush nor chai. But probably a pretty inoffensive starter tea for people who are interested in trying these varieties.

Yoga Boot Camp

First off, this photo is not of me. Or anyone I know. Or anyone I would know.

That being said, I'm currently putting myself through what I'm calling yoga boot camp. I'm taking an hour-and-a-half yoga class every day for the next seven days. I usually go to yoga once a month.

What does this have to do with tea, you ask - well, yoga in L.A. is about a lot more than a gauche interpretation of a millennia old practice and showing off your $2 toe ring from Pac Sun. It's also about tea.

At the yoga place I go to, they offer hot tea to drink before or after your practice. So for each day I go, I'll write a quick review here of the tea they offered.

Thursday: Yogi Tea's Egyptian Licorice Mint. It's not too bad, actually - but I like licorice. It wouldn't be something I'd drink every day, but a quick cup of it was pretty refreshing.

Friday: Yogi Tea's India Spice. This was vile. Pepper water - except not spicy hot. Just like you took a packet of pepper from a fast food place and dumped some water into it. Epic fail. I took two sips and then hid the half-full cup behind the carafe.

In Defense Of...

Some, namely B, may quibble that the Starbucks venti soy chai tea latte doesn't meet the definition of tea. To this, I say bah. Why? Because frequently the venti soy chai tea latte, much like, say, gin in colonial India, is the only damn thing that gets me through the day.

Once, I tried to make one at home instead of spending $4.25 that otherwise would have gone to charity or trashy historical romances by Philippa Gregory. I brewed a cup of Tazo Chai tea, added some soy milk, and threw in some (like 40) sugar cubes for good measure.

And do you know what it tasted like? Crap. Why? Because according to the genius Starbucks gossip site the ones prepared in the stores are made from a concentrate AND the soy milk Starbucks uses is exclusive to them. So you can't make it at home and get it to taste similar to what you buy at the store. You have to buy it at Starbucks.

This is capitalism at its best. While it may be a glorified chai tea soy milkshake from a box, it's my glorified chai tea soy milkshake from a box.

Tea At The Home Of Another

One may ask: Now, you two are certainly modern girls, therefore what tea measures do you take when you wake up at a home where, persay, you are not on the deed? At the home, perchance, of a gentleman caller? (Said gentleman caller has been the same gentleman caller for upwards of eight years now, so don't get your no doubt complicated Victorian panties in a twist. Hi Mom.)

The answer is shown here. One drinks Harrod's house mix, looseleaf, with water from crazy Japanese quick water boiling science fiction thingy purchased for said gentleman caller's birthday last year.

Dude, it boils eight quarts in minutes - and keeps it at a tea-appropriate temperature as long as you want. It's magic! It's double magic when one of the burners is out on the gentleman caller's stove, and his water heater is on the blink. It is, in fact, the only link to modern civilization that exists at the gentleman caller's house right now.